SKITZY
REALITY IS A JOKE.
HE JUST KNOWS THE PUNCHLINE.
Cosmic trickster.
Sacred geometry occultist.
Metaphysical anomaly.
A man who studies the structures beneath
existence—and occasionally convinces
those structures to behave differently.
WARNING: DO NOT ENCOURAGE.
WHO IS SKITZY?
By every outward appearance, Skitzy is remarkably ordinary.
He behaves like someone who accidentally wandered backstage during the performance of existence and decided to stay.
His fascination with occult philosophy, sacred geometry, consciousness and symbolism eventually became something much worse: understanding.
He does not simply ask what exists.
He asks why existence behaves the way it does.
Witnesses report rooms changing,
memories disagreeing and conversations
becoming impossible to reconstruct.
Skitzy usually finds this hilarious.
REALITY INCIDENTS
THE LONG HALLWAY
An ordinary corridor reportedly
changed dimensions while Skitzy
walked through it.
He did not panic.
He laughed.
The hallway returned to normal
approximately eleven seconds later.
CONVERSATION_07
Multiple witnesses remembered
the same conversation differently.
No recording could establish
which version occurred.
Skitzy claimed all versions
were "technically correct."
THE QUESTION
Skitzy has repeatedly answered
questions before they were spoken.
When confronted, he generally
appears more amused than surprised.
HE WAS ALREADY THERE
Almost nobody remembers meeting
Skitzy properly.
People simply remember eventually
realizing he had already been
sitting nearby.
Nobody agrees for how long.
SUBJECT BEHAVIOR
EVERYTHING IS FUNNY
Skitzy's humor is not simply
personality.
It appears to be his primary
response to existential terror.
The worse reality becomes,
the more amused he seems.
HE NOTICES THE CRACKS
Tiny inconsistencies fascinate him.
Strange geometry.
Incorrect memories.
Impossible coincidences.
He treats them like clues.
HE WAS HERE FIRST
People rarely notice his arrival.
Instead, they eventually notice
that he has apparently been
listening for some time.
TOO MUCH
Theology.
Mathematics.
Geometry.
Dreams.
Consciousness.
Death.
He kept looking beneath them.
IT LISTENS
Nobody knows whether Skitzy
manipulates reality or merely
understands it incorrectly.
Unfortunately,
both explanations produce results.
HE SMILES
No matter what happens.
No matter how horrifying.
Skitzy smiles.
Then he laughs.
COSMIC BULLSHITTERY
No observable rules govern this phenomenon.
Skitzy possesses anomalous authority
over localized reality through methods
that appear spontaneous, nonsensical
and completely inconsistent.
Hallucinations.
Fabricated memories.
Alternate perceptions.
Impossible objects.
Broken spatial logic.
Selective phenomena.
Temporary changes to cause and effect.
Nobody has successfully determined
where the joke ends and the anomaly begins.
Reality is not built from matter.
Reality is built from meaning.
Not particles.
Patterns.
Not machinery.
Relationships.
VIVI_01
SHE HEARD YOU.
Records surrounding Skitzy contain repeated references to a feminine entity associated with mirrors, static, impossible eyes and unstable perception.
Some accounts describe her as a thoughtform. Others claim she existed before Skitzy. Others believe Skitzy discovered her.
The distinction remains unresolved.
What is consistent is her attachment
to him.
Skitzy reportedly refers to her as his masterpiece.
Whatever she is, she always comes back to him.
ACCESS SKITZY.
You have reached a file that
was not supposed to be accessible.
If this page begins behaving strangely,
do not refresh it.
If you hear laughter,
do not look behind you.
The subject may already be present.